It’s the last night of March. Tomorrow (or, rather, tonight at midnight) I’m going to begin writing my script. It’s the first time I’ll go out of my comfort zone when writing; yes, I can write novels. I have written novels, and I can write them quickly without too much hassle. But can I really write a script? Can I do 100 pages without description, narrative, all of the things that I use (sometimes too much) in a novel? Rather, can I make emotion translate into a script? This isn’t a happy story; none of mine are. It’s a story of first love and pain and the realization that the world you know can be a cruel place. I’m afraid, though. I’m afraid to start it and ruin it.
I know that, if this were a novel, I wouldn’t be so frightened. I’d be ready, chomping at the bit. Let me write it! Let me break their hearts! But now, at the face of this previously unexplored terrain, I’m hesitant.
I don’t want to screw it up.
What if I lose? What if I don’t get 100 pages? Nearly everyone I’ve talked to has laughed at that, the page count. You can speed-write. It’s only 20,000 words, if that. It’s not that much. Screenwriting isn’t difficult.
While that (the latter) might be true, I don’t know. And I don’t like not knowing. I like being safe in the idea that while the execution might be off, I have the format of a novel down. I’m not familiar with the ‘three acts’ everyone talks about, with the small parenthetical. I’m used to using thoughts to convey emotions; now, I have to bring it across in dialogue.
It’s going to be fun, though. I know it is. It’s going to be an exercise in something different, and while I’m not excited for it as though it’s NaNo time, I’ve got a quiet sort of exhilaration.
And if I fail, if I don’t get the 100 pages, I’ll move on. I’ll cut my losses, determine where I went wrong, and go back to writing novels in May. (That’s not to say that I’m going to be so angry that I have to quit. I’m just planning on doing three WriMos in a row.)
Either way, it’ll be a good time. I’ve just got to keep thinking positive.